Liverpool 1-2 Manchester United Jokes ( Mark Halsey edition )

BIRTH OF A NEW LEGEND 

•   I can see Ashley Young is doing a fine job teaching his teammates how to dive.. 

• It Seems Like Webb's Days Are Over At United...As There New Signing Mark Halsey Has perfomed Great In His Debut....Halsey Has take A Major Role In Winning 2:1 Against His Rival Liverpool As He Is The Man Of The Match...

•  Liverpool have answers for their 11 players out there but not for the twelfth man Mr - Mark Hasley . 

• It's difficult enough playing with 10 men against 11, but it's impossible against 12.

• Looks like Mark Halsey was graduated from 'Howard Webb's School of Refereeing' 

• Not Sure if Liverpool v/s Man Utd or Liverpool v/s Mark Halsey 

• Stupid Liverpool Supporters threatens Halsey by saying that they will destroy his car .
  Everyone knows he travel on Man United team Bus

Andy Carroll Jokes (Part 2)

35 Million _ What a Joke 

#  Rumour has it that Andy Carroll’s girlfriend locked him out of their home last night. She painted a goal over the door & he couldn’t get in.

#   Kenny to Officer: ”I need you to arrest Andy Carroll, he’s useless!”
“On what grounds?”
-”All of them!”

#   Andy Carroll’s Text to Fernando Torres after the Chelsea-Aston Villa  game (Leaked):
”I thought we were friends.” :-(

#  The FA have brought in a new ruling. Anyone found passing to Andy Carroll will automatically receive a yellow card for time wasting.

#  Liverpool have offered to sell Andy Carroll back to NewcastleUtd for free. Newcastle have reported Liverpool for threatening behaviour.

# Andy Carroll has turned down being the new face of L’Oreal hair products as everyone burst into fits of laughter everytime he uttered the words “Because I’m Worth It!”

#  Reports indicate Muamba can breathe unassisted, recognise people and regained control of his limbs. Liverpool have offered a swap deal for Andy Carroll. 

Best of the best 

" I intended to walk in to the bench ( Andy Carroll defends himself after walking out through the tunnel ) " 

Football Jokes ~ Part 7 ( Andy Carroll edition )

# Why does Stewart Downing have 0 assists? 'Coz he only passes to Andy Carroll

# Aston villa rejected liverpool's (25million + andy carrol) bid for darren bent saying that they want only 25 million

# Kenny : " Andy Carrol is our wonder Boy . Everytime he plays I wonder why I signed him

# Liverpool Youngster Raheem Sterling Gets Two Women Pregnant In Two Weeks .

He should be a first team starter. It is clear to me that he scores more than Andy Carroll

#  "I am shocked and disappointed."
The Liverpool captain responds to news that Andy Carroll will not be sold in January


#  I met a fairy today who granted me one wish. "I want to live forever," I said.
"Sorry," said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that."
"Fine," I said, "I want to die when Andy Carroll scores a hatrick ."
"You crafty Human!" said the fairy.