Liverpool 1-2 Manchester United Jokes ( Mark Halsey edition )

BIRTH OF A NEW LEGEND 

•   I can see Ashley Young is doing a fine job teaching his teammates how to dive.. 

• It Seems Like Webb's Days Are Over At United...As There New Signing Mark Halsey Has perfomed Great In His Debut....Halsey Has take A Major Role In Winning 2:1 Against His Rival Liverpool As He Is The Man Of The Match...

•  Liverpool have answers for their 11 players out there but not for the twelfth man Mr - Mark Hasley . 

• It's difficult enough playing with 10 men against 11, but it's impossible against 12.

• Looks like Mark Halsey was graduated from 'Howard Webb's School of Refereeing' 

• Not Sure if Liverpool v/s Man Utd or Liverpool v/s Mark Halsey 

• Stupid Liverpool Supporters threatens Halsey by saying that they will destroy his car .
  Everyone knows he travel on Man United team Bus

Football Jokes ~ Part 7 ( Andy Carroll edition )

# Why does Stewart Downing have 0 assists? 'Coz he only passes to Andy Carroll

# Aston villa rejected liverpool's (25million + andy carrol) bid for darren bent saying that they want only 25 million

# Kenny : " Andy Carrol is our wonder Boy . Everytime he plays I wonder why I signed him

# Liverpool Youngster Raheem Sterling Gets Two Women Pregnant In Two Weeks .

He should be a first team starter. It is clear to me that he scores more than Andy Carroll

#  "I am shocked and disappointed."
The Liverpool captain responds to news that Andy Carroll will not be sold in January


#  I met a fairy today who granted me one wish. "I want to live forever," I said.
"Sorry," said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that."
"Fine," I said, "I want to die when Andy Carroll scores a hatrick ."
"You crafty Human!" said the fairy.

Funny jokes related to Football .

1 .  What will MANU fans do after defeating Barca ? What will Chelsea Fans do after winning CL ? What will liverpool fans do after winning the BPL ?
Ans : Switch of their Playstation .

2 . What will we say for Complaint box in Spanish ?
Ans : Jose Mourinho

3 . The award thoroughly deservedby Pep Gaurdiola which he has not won yet ?
ans : Oscar  award for the best director (for teaching his players for acting injured so naturally )

4. Fifa 12 achievement - Stay on feet with Sergio Basquets

5. Fifa 12 Achievement - Score a goal with Torress

6.  Fifa 12 Achievement - Defend four goals with Arsenal

7 .  Fifa 12 Achievement - Win against Blackpool with Liverpool

8.  Fifa 12 Achievement - Win against Barca with ManU

9.  Fifa 12 Achievement -  Get a silverware with Arsenal

10.  Fifa 12 Achievement - Score a goal with Heskey

11.  Fifa 12 Achievement - Stop scoring own goals with pantsil

12. IN a match between Real Madrid and Barca  Cristiano ronaldo prays "God pls help us to win this match "
God replies "Clash of interests mate I play for barca wearing no 10 . "
Cristiano looks for Barca number 10 and found it was Messi ;)

13. Q: What is the difference between Arsenal and a cup of tea?A: The tea stays in the cup longer!


14. British media has reported dat osama bin laden had been hiding in arsenal's trophy room
in defence arsene wenger came out furious and denied dat their exist any such ROOM .

15.  Q:Why did the Spurs players fail in Science?
 A: 'coz they didn't get a single point to write about even after searching for decades.

16. My computer's got the Robert Green virus. It can't save anything

17. What do you call an Englishman in the knockout stages of the World Cup? A referee.

18. Three hours of football and Robert Green is still England's top scorer.

19. Wayne Rooney is set to miss Saturday's game with an injury so Alex Ferguson will be forced to stick with Berbatov and Webb up front.

20. Man United fans watch Man United TV

Chelsea fans watch Chelsea TV
Arsenal fans watch Arsenal TV

But why do Liverpool fans watch the History Channel?

Most of these jokes are form chelseanetwork.com , Espnstar.com, FMscout ....... stay tuned for more Thank U