English FA Introduced new rules for Man Utd Matches - JOKE

FA - Ferguson Association 

# Rule 1 - Any contact with Man Utd players inside the box is a penalty

# Rule 2 - Any Player who scores against man Utd will be banned for 3 matches since it cause psychological abuse to Man Utd Captain Patrice Evra

# Rule 3 - Chelsea and Newcastle should change the color of their kits since black color will cause Man Utd players a distraction  

# Rule 4 - Opponents players will get a yellow card for penalty appeals against Man Utd .

# Rule 5 - Man Utd players can Handle the ball . 

# Rule 6 - Man Utd Goalkeepers can touch the ball with their hand anywhere on the field (Irrespective of Inside or outside the box)

# Rule 7 - Howard Webb be the referee for all Man Utd Matches

# Rule 8 - Players have to request Man Utd players for giving the ball . Any Tackle or Push on Man Utd players will result in straight red

# Rule 9 - Blackburn should change their name to stay in the league . The word black in their is causing a distraction to United players

# Rule 10 - Any player dribbling past Evra will be accused for racist allegations !!

" Any Team still managing to beat Man utd will be relegated since everyone know its impossible to beat Man Utd without cheating  & yeah additional 35 points will be awarded to Man Utd every season becoz of their fair play  " 

Andre Villas-Boas' - Is he the right man ?

                      

Andre Villas-Boas'  aka AVB was appointed as Carlo Ancelotti's successor earlier this week, He took charge of Chelsea form Porto by paying his release clause of 13.2 M . It will be interesting to see how he handles it. His arrival has got mixed reactions from Fans and Critics . He has been dubbed him as the attacking version of his mentor Jose Mourinho.The appointment of 33-year-old Portuguese was also been blamed by former club legends .At just 33 Villas-Boas will be the youngest manager in the Barclays Premier League and must quickly integrate himself back into the Stamford Bridge dressing room where he will be the same age as veterans such as Didier Drogba and Frank Lampard.

Advantages 

1 . He is familiar with Chelsea bcoz he has worked in OOD ( Opponent Observation Department ) under the reign of Jose .

2. His attacking style of football which will be welcomed warmly by fans .

3. Since he has been paid a huge release clause Roman wont sack him that easily . that will give this young lad some time to rebuild the ageing squad .

4. His training drills will be organised and he knows what the players require,"

Drawbacks

# Only one draw back and that is his age 33 just 2 months elder than Drogba and Lampard . How is he supposed to motivate them . Andre Villas-Boas' biggest challenge at Chelsea will be to win over some of the high-profile names in the Stamford Bridge dressing room. The new man will still need to prove himself to established stars such as John Terry, Frank Lampard and Didier Drogba.

Funny jokes related to Football .

1 .  What will MANU fans do after defeating Barca ? What will Chelsea Fans do after winning CL ? What will liverpool fans do after winning the BPL ?
Ans : Switch of their Playstation .

2 . What will we say for Complaint box in Spanish ?
Ans : Jose Mourinho

3 . The award thoroughly deservedby Pep Gaurdiola which he has not won yet ?
ans : Oscar  award for the best director (for teaching his players for acting injured so naturally )

4. Fifa 12 achievement - Stay on feet with Sergio Basquets

5. Fifa 12 Achievement - Score a goal with Torress

6.  Fifa 12 Achievement - Defend four goals with Arsenal

7 .  Fifa 12 Achievement - Win against Blackpool with Liverpool

8.  Fifa 12 Achievement - Win against Barca with ManU

9.  Fifa 12 Achievement -  Get a silverware with Arsenal

10.  Fifa 12 Achievement - Score a goal with Heskey

11.  Fifa 12 Achievement - Stop scoring own goals with pantsil

12. IN a match between Real Madrid and Barca  Cristiano ronaldo prays "God pls help us to win this match "
God replies "Clash of interests mate I play for barca wearing no 10 . "
Cristiano looks for Barca number 10 and found it was Messi ;)

13. Q: What is the difference between Arsenal and a cup of tea?A: The tea stays in the cup longer!


14. British media has reported dat osama bin laden had been hiding in arsenal's trophy room
in defence arsene wenger came out furious and denied dat their exist any such ROOM .

15.  Q:Why did the Spurs players fail in Science?
 A: 'coz they didn't get a single point to write about even after searching for decades.

16. My computer's got the Robert Green virus. It can't save anything

17. What do you call an Englishman in the knockout stages of the World Cup? A referee.

18. Three hours of football and Robert Green is still England's top scorer.

19. Wayne Rooney is set to miss Saturday's game with an injury so Alex Ferguson will be forced to stick with Berbatov and Webb up front.

20. Man United fans watch Man United TV

Chelsea fans watch Chelsea TV
Arsenal fans watch Arsenal TV

But why do Liverpool fans watch the History Channel?

Most of these jokes are form chelseanetwork.com , Espnstar.com, FMscout ....... stay tuned for more Thank U  

Who will be the premier Division Champions this Season ?

A new season is about to begin . The premier division title race has become More tighter now its a five horse race to the title towards the end . Arsenal , Manchester City , Manchester United , Liverpool and Chelsea are the major title contenders . Lets take a look on these five teams and analyse which team is capable of  lifting the premier division trophy at the end of the season . 

LIVERPOOL 

                                 Liverpool under the management of Kenny Daglish , OMG this is the team which has to be feared this year , King Kenny managed to bring back Liverpool to the top half within six month that too without their influential Midfielder Steve G and star striker Torres . He managed to keep the morale high in the dressing room . With Steve G back from Injury and new recruits settled into the team Liverpool will be in the top 4 . Their strength is Steve G and thats their weakness too .

Prediction - 3rd 

MANCHESTER CITY

                                                     Manchester city has the strongest squad on paper . But the players doesn't seems to have that determination to do good for the team . Look at tevez their top scorer and Captain , he wants to move from the club . Thats the attitude towards the club they are playing for money not for the club . With the squad available Mancini he could have won the league easily . Mancity has everything but influence , For winning the league they should need a player who loves the club , who can make other players love the club . Someone like Steve G for Livepool or John terry for Chelsea .

Prediction - 5th

CHELSEA 

                            Chelsea has a very strong squad , IF Hiddink will be back as their manager they have a very strong chance for lifting it again. Their squad is blessed with a strong defense , a creative midfield and a firing attack . The squad is ok but thier back-room staffs aren't . Chelsea always begins the season in some style and have a patchy period in the middle and will return to form towards the end thats Chelsea's routine  every year , the patchy period in middle is due to their internal matters . If they can find a solution for that they will triumph this year .

prediction - 1st or 2nd ( depending upon their manager )

ARSENAL

                                 As long as Wenger didnt invest on experience players they will not win anything . The players have the pace flair everything but they have a shaky defense . IF Arsene cant find a solution for that this year will also be the same as before . ie another year without silverware

prediction - 4th 

MANCHESTER UNITED 

                                         Glory Glory Man United . Manchester has a considerably weak squad than the rest of the teams but they have SAF . Individually these players are nothing but as a team they will die for each other . Manchester united has that spirit in them they will never say die they are consistent . They premier league ribbons will be red colored at the end of the season unless a spirited performance like ( Chelsea a year back ) from any of the  other teams .

Prediction - 1st 

A poll is on the right side of the blog to decide who will be the champs next year . dont forget to vote . stay tuned byeeeee

Irony : Arsene Staying , Ancelloti Sacked

Arsene Wengar didnt manage to win a silver since 2005 . But still he is the Manager of Arsenal.

Most of the fans want to sack this guy but the board have still confidence in this person. As every know his style is monotunous and he deserved to be sacked . But the board have faith in thier long serving Boss . Patience is good but this much patience will do bad than good. As the fans are chanting in Social networking sites please sack this guy bring some one fresh and new to bring back the morale in the dressing room .

Do Ancelloti realy deserved to be sacked ? I think Carlo should be given one more year . Remember he is the manager who has got the league double last year . He brought back premier division title to Stamfordbridge that too in some style . He brought the attcking nature to this chelsea side . Is this the way to treat a manager who borught back the glory . Roman Abro u took the wrong decision , he deserved to stay with the blues . I think roman should manage this club and have to sack himself at the end of the season .

Isnt it irony that the one who needs to be patient has been extremely impatient and the one who has to impatient being extremely patient .

Barclays Premier league - Transfer rumors for next season .

Another year in BPL ( EPL ) . Manchester United regains their title . Congrats MU . Lots of things have changed in BPL now . The Big fours has become the Big 5 , Manchester city the latest inclusion . Actually its the Big four still I think . Manchester City replaces Liverpool . There will be a lots of arguments in this seasons teams performance . So a long rest for us before the next IPL . Lots of transfer rumors surrounding the teams .Lets take a look on the top five key Transfer rumors .

1 . Eden Hazard .

Liverpool, Arsenal, Chelsea and Man U are all interested in signing the Belgium international. And he added fuel to fire by expressing his ambition for playing @ big clubs . The 20-year-old is one of the hottest properties in Europe and is being targeted by a number of top European clubs. His contract runs out in 2015 so his current club Lille are not in a hurry to sell their star but will be tempted if a club matches their £16million valuation. He knows he is ready to make the next step but does not want to go to a club where he will be sitting on the substitutes bench. And its heard that he prefers arsenal over all the other clubs becuz @ Arsenal e youngsters can grow more easily into the first team and make their mark.

2 . Neymar

Chelsea are at the front of the queue to sign the £39million-rated Santos forward, who saw his reputation enhanced with a match-winning performance in his country's friendly against Scotland earlier this year.Neymar turned down the chance to join the Blues at Chelsea last summer and instead trebled his money by agreeing a new five-year deal at Santos. Brazilian star Neymar hopes that his mooted move to Chelsea can be resurrected . Fellow Brazilian Players Luiz and Ramires Urges him to Join the blues this season .

3 . Charles n'zogbia

Liverpool are being linked with a £7 million move for Wigan Athletic winger Charles N'Zogbia . Spurs, Juventus, Aston Villa, Sunderland and Newcastle are all thought to be in the running for the 24-year-old, who made his international debut for Les Bleus against Norway last year .. Reds boss Kenny Dalglish has highlighted the French international as a potential summer addition, should the club fail to land Stewart Downing from Aston Villa.

4 . Ricardo Kaka

Although he had committed his future at real Madrid , Chelsea and Manchester United are interested in him . A price tag of 50 M will be a big problem but Roman is the owner of Chelsea he don't mind that much money do he .

4. Manuel Neuer

Ferguson is looking for a long-term replacement for current first choice goalkeeper Edwin van der Sar who has already announced that he will be retiring from football at the end of the season and Ferguson believes that Neuer has the ability to take on the role.The club seem to be getting ready to show the value that they place on the player, sanctioning a £24 million transfer bid for the stopper. Manuel Neuer originally commented on his future at Schalke 04, saying that he knew that he will be leaving during the summer but with interest from Bayern Munich, thoughts were that the Germany international would stay in his home country. Situations have now come into play which have caused Schalke 04 and Bayern Munich to exchange words, leaving relations between the two sides firmly on the rocks, a situation that Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson will look to take advantage of.



Those are the top 5 transfer rumors In BPL now . stay tuned for more transfer news and vote for the team which you think will be the premier division champs next season . Thats it for now enjoy your Vacation .