|35 Million _ What a Joke|
# Rumour has it that Andy Carroll’s girlfriend locked him out of their home last night. She painted a goal over the door & he couldn’t get in.
# Kenny to Officer: ”I need you to arrest Andy Carroll, he’s useless!”
“On what grounds?”
-”All of them!”
# Andy Carroll’s Text to Fernando Torres after the Chelsea-Aston Villa game (Leaked):
”I thought we were friends.” :-(
# The FA have brought in a new ruling. Anyone found passing to Andy Carroll will automatically receive a yellow card for time wasting.
# Liverpool have offered to sell Andy Carroll back to NewcastleUtd for free. Newcastle have reported Liverpool for threatening behaviour.
# Andy Carroll has turned down being the new face of L’Oreal hair products as everyone burst into fits of laughter everytime he uttered the words “Because I’m Worth It!”
# Reports indicate Muamba can breathe unassisted, recognise people and regained control of his limbs. Liverpool have offered a swap deal for Andy Carroll.
Best of the best
" I intended to walk in to the bench ( Andy Carroll defends himself after walking out through the tunnel ) "